Monthly Energy Wise Tips
Monthly Energy Wise Tips are dedicated to bringing you a monthly energy tip to save you energy and money!
December 2013 EnergyWiseSM Tip:
Lack of Green: Santa in the Red, Elves are Blue, No White Christmas!
Reliable sources have just confirmed that this year, Santa Claus will be limiting his visits to children who are deemed “Extremely Nice” due colossal energy costs incurred with transportation, production, and employee accommodations. According to Santa’s accountant, Miss L. Toe, CPA, most of Kringle Holdings, LLC assets have been frozen until Santa makes restitution of his outstanding energy bills.
In the last couple days, energy auditors from North Pole Public Power District released findings from a recent energy assessment of Claus’ compound. The written report identified the following items and issues as primary contributors to the excessive energy use:
- Traditional incandescent Christmas lights were strung and illuminated 24 hours-a-day for the entire past year costing Kringle more than $200 per string. New energy efficient LED lights would have cost less than $1 per string if St. Nick would have operated them for only 18 hours per day between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day.
- Thermostats in the elves’ dormitories were left set at 80°F all winter instead of the recommended 68°F during when occupied and 60°F during unoccupied and nighttime periods. Such thermostat setbacks could have saved up to 20 percent in heating costs.
- Mrs. Claus ran an old, energy-guzzling plasma TV for 16 hours each day while baking cookies. New LED-LCD televisions of comparable size only use about 20 percent of the electricity consumed by old plasma sets.
- Jack Frost kept his Christmas spirits chilled in a 1940s refrigerator with dirty coils. That antique ice box sat next to the reindeer barn’s furnace room. A new ENERGY STAR® refrigerator with clean coils would have used less than one third the energy. To make matters worse, the old fridge had cracked seals that allowed cold air to leak out, and against his parents’ heartfelt pleas Mr. Frost seldom closed the refrigerator door all the way due to his chronic irresponsibility.
- Because of poor maintenance, fuel efficiency for the Big Red Man’s sled has taken a huge nosedive. Compounding the problem, due to lack of exercise and over-indulgence, the nine reindeer that pull the sleigh have become fat on premium alfalfa. Those factors, combined with last year’s rise in alfalfa costs, tripled Santa’s feed bill. Had Santa considered a Plug-in Hybrid Electric Sled (PHES), he could have cut his transportation costs tenfold.
- On his vacation to Jamaica during the entire month of August, Frosty the Snowman charged the utilities at his beachfront bungalow to Kringle Holdings. Unfortunately, the bungalow was not equipped with an ENERGY STAR® window air conditioner. Non-ENERGY STAR air conditioners can use up to double the amount of energy to provide the same amount of cooling.
- Water heaters at Claus’ compound ran nearly continuously due to uninsulated hot water pipes; leaky faucets, nonuse of low flow shower heads and aerators, and sugar plum fairies taking hour-long showers twice a day.
When asked to comment on his mismanagement of energy at the North Pole and by his often naughty subordinates, Santa told reporters, “I promise to do better with energy efficiency next year and perhaps, I can expand deliveries again. But in the meantime, you better be good, for goodness sake!”
Perennial Public Power District wishes you and yours the very best during the holidays this year. Part of our commitment to providing you outstanding customer service includes helping you make the most of the energy you use throughout the year. For assistance on how you can make your home or business EnergyWiseSM, contact Perennial Public Power District at 402-362-3355.
Perennial Public Power District wants you to get the most energy value for your money. It costs far less to save energy than it does to build a new power plant to generate additional power.